Caregivers Are
Bad Donkeys
They come in as many different sizes, colors, and shapes as their charges do.
Everyone will need them.
We will need more of them soon.
None of them are treated with the respect they earn.
And since we were so often discussing them in front of young kids….
The name just sorta happened.
The Project:
Respite
We want to help
Empathy for the caregiver, for whom giving everything is never enough, is the core of the respite project.
Relief: A little goes a long way
The idea behind respite, and why it helps, makes me think of tooth pain.
You know when your tooth hurts, like, really hurts? How it’s non-stop, around-the-clock, “won’t let you sleep”, kind of a pain? The relentlessness of being a Bad Donkey caregiver is just like that.
And just like that tooth pain, even a short rest from its weight is a relief that can rejuvenate and reconnect someone with their own world.
Relentless Need
Not all charges require around-the-clock care, but for those that do, the Bad Donkeys are counted on to be available at all times. Because the costs of professional care are usually prohibitive, this role is almost always filled by an unpaid family member.
Isolation and Stigma
When a caregiver is in this position, they often feel very alone. Friends and family are kind but soon stop wanting to be reminded of the difficulties the Bad Donkey family is going through and subsequently stop showing up.
What Respite Looks Like
A day of respite from us will look a lot like a spa day given by the teams on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”.
We intend to provide all of the professionals and fun activities needed to give the charge a great day. Wait, didn’t they say it was about the caregiver, not the charge? Yes, but none of the Bad Donkeys we know would be able to receive the gifts we are trying to give them while still concerned for the charge.
Once the Bad Donkey’s concerns are assuaged and the mental load lightened, a bit of rest can begin. Through interviews, the nominating ally, and empathetic listening, we will give whatever provides the most relief to the Bad Donkey.
Like “Extreme Makeover”, our eventual hope is to give the family some lasting advantage when we leave. In our imaginations, when we have enough funding, respite could last multiple days and include travel vacation destinations.